I’d like to share my story in the form of a response to a touching documentary short that I viewed recently. In the comments section, I reached out to young Eri who used the occasion to come out to the world against the backdrop of her family, culture and faith. Below again, is my response to her message and then a link to the documentary.
Message to Eri / Eri’s Family: In this video presentation, the rhetorical question was posed:
“…why try if you know you’re going to fail?” -Eri (Transmormon)
My reply as your viewer follows:
We try because of the meaning and without much regard for the outcome. What others think of me is really not my concern or business. If they like me I’m rewarded but if they don’t I’m not to be punished because they are not given authority to be my judge. Oh yes, they will judge not to worry, but would that make any difference in how I work out my salvation before the Heavenly Creator? I think not with my mind and pray my heart and actions follow. I ask for help with this topic because I know that I’m limited in my ability to abide by the truths I discover within and all around me. Not every truth is recorded in the beautiful scriptures. So I wait for God and the Holy Spirit to minister to me where individually, this is needed.
One special day, I discovered love for myself as an extension of love given to me for another individual who is inter-sexed. I only had the occasion to sit with her for one evening. Of all places, we sat upon a piano bench during a community meeting. With a minimum of words, we quietly shared our stories and then the tears began to flow. My tears might have had a slightly different meaning being merely transgender and judged by a world that demands physical proof. Yet we had a working understanding and soon I became content that ours is a uniquely similar calling. One that we need not explain unless moved by the Spirit. Something changed deep within me on that occasion and on that piano bench. I discovered that Jesus had looked into me as I had looked into my new friend and He loved me in a very similar way. So this is why we try and it has little to do with acceptance found in the church.
We try because we were given life and value established by the price paid for us and how our Creator looks upon us. If within the span of a day we can not find another human being who can reflect back our inherent value, then we must turn away from this temporary pursuit. In its place let us seek time with God and allow His love to reach and transform us. This God inspired transformation is a transformation of the first order. All other transformation should flow out of it. These words are difficult to capture because they are so contaminated by connotations found in the world. The only way to understand them is through a turn inward and with a touch of His grace and by our own commitment to try, and try again. This then is what I mean by working out my salvation.